Morality clashes with safety: Should a woman carry condoms?

KATHMANDU, August 1 : Unlike even a decade ago, Nepal’s youth are no longer shy when it comes to pre-marital sex. A 1999 survey by Valley Research Group showed that one in every four adolescent admitted to having their first sexual experience at age 16.

While education and growing encroachment of pop culture riding on the back of satellite television and films have contributed to changing sexual mores, teens and the young are also becoming more aware of sexually transmitted diseases. This awareness is slowly being translated into safer sex practices, such as using condoms.

A result of this awareness is that, more and more young people are now carrying condoms in their pockets or purses. Among them are a growing number of young women who often carry condoms in case their partner forgets.

An example is Sushma Chhettri. The 22 year old who is in a stable relationship often tucks away a few condoms in her purse, just in case. "I find it more convenient than relying on my partner. Sometimes he forgets, so it’s better if I have a spare."

Chhettri adds that most of her friends carry their own prophylactics too. "With the threat of diseases like HIV/AIDS, couples are thinking ‘safe sex’ and the condom is considered as one of the best prevention of this disease."

The uninitiated may call the likes of Chhettri and her friends as women with loose morals, but experts say it is indeed an encouraging trend that many young women are choosing to take control of their own lives, especially their sexual rights. And in the process, they are protecting not just their lives but also of their partners. But such women are still tiny in numbers, thanks to a rigid and heavily patriarchal society.

Sociologists who are only now beginning to notice the trend say, a deeply conservative society such as Nepal’s will not support such behaviour without some radical change in social mores.
"It is a positive sign," concedes sociologist Dr Krishna Bhattachan of Tribhuvan University, referring to women carrying condoms. "But until there is a behavioural change, the society will not support this…In Nepal, when a girl is found to carry a condom, her parents, relatives or friends can place pressure on her and inflict mental torture."

Dr Bhattachan added that it was necessary for campaigns to address these issues. "Just promotion of condoms will not solve the problem. Other aspects need to follow side by side." He argues for education of women, more career opportunities and ensuring a secure environment.

Just how difficult it is for women is illustrated by this true account: A few weeks ago, Sita Adhikary (name changed on request) was travelling on a bus to Jawalakhel. When she opened her purse to get some money to pay the conductor, a few packets of condoms fell out from her bag. Two people sitting behind her began harassing her. "They asked me why I was carrying so many condoms," says Adhikary. "I told them it was for myself."

Incidentally, one person was a policeman. "He spoke to me in harsh tones and embarrassed me in front of everyone," she adds. "Even a lady sitting nearby joined in by calling me a bhalu (prostitute)."Incidences such as this show just how difficult it is for young women to carry condoms. "Why can’t they think that it is actually a good thing that women carry condoms instead of looking at it in a bad sense," questions Adhikary. "After all we are conscious of safe sex and we want our families to be healthy as well."

What often happens is that, when women carry condoms they are thought to be in the sex trade, and treated accordingly. The harassment towards women has made the jobs of organisations working for safe sex through condom promotion hard.

"Some women do not want to use condoms for fear of harassment from the police and other people," says Bharat Raut of General Welfare Pratishthan, an NGO working in the field of HIV/AIDS prevention. However, Kuber Rana, Superintendent of Police based at Hanuman Dhoka denied any incidences of harassment. "Maybe during checking at night the police do harass the women but there have been no reports," he said.